the holiday

Merry Christmas...Happy Canadian Boxing Day...Happy Hanukkah...Happy Holidays...(__fill in the blank with the festive event you celebrate at this time of year___)

empowerment

I'm Gonna Do It All - Karine Polwart

What ARE you going to do someday? How are you going to change the world??

World AIDS Day

Today is World AIDS Day. For most on my campus, it is just another day. But for those with HIV/AIDS or those who have been orphaned, it's not just another day. They are most likely grateful for another day of living. For those of us who are educated, it is a day of awareness. It is a day for those of us who know and care to defeat the stigmas fear has created. On Thursday, three of us traveled to Notre Dame for their film festival. There was a little boy named Gao Jun (China) who broke my heart. He was not only orphaned because his parents died from AIDS but he also has the disease. His uncles wouldn't take him because of the stigma and not being able to find spouses. So the little boy was given to another family until he became too sick for them to bear to care for him. AND he is one of the lucky ones. Something in my heart wanted to go over to China and vow to care for that little boy and the hundreds, perhaps thousands, like him. My heart goes out to Gao Jun and the millions like him. You are in my thoughts today.

fear or freedom

"Come to the edge."
"We can't. We're afraid."
"Come to the edge."
"We can't. We will fall!"
"Come to the edge."
And they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew.

Guillaume Apollinaire, 1880-1918
French Poet, Philosopher

1st Friday

"Our rule is the works of mercy," said Dorothy Day. "It is the way of sacrifice, worship, a sense of reverence."

The Simple Living group decided to attend 1st Friday at the Catholic Worker. It was mass followed by a time of food and fellowship with other young, and old, activists. I was amazed and so motivated to become a part of this movement. For more information, a link is provided: Catholic Worker.

GLBT history month

For more information, log onto http://www.glbthistorymonth.com

the six

Jena Six refers to a group of six African American teenagers who have been arrested and charged with crimes related to their alleged involvement in the assault of a white teenager in Jena, Louisiana, on December 4, 2006. The incident is one of many racially charged events that have occurred in the town since what has been called a prank involving the "white tree" on the Jena High School campus. Critics of the case, including civil rights leaders Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, have claimed that the arrests and subsequent charges were racially motivated.^[1]

For more information, the following link is provided: Jena 6

If you want to become involved, check out the facebook event being held tomorrow.

the Church

This is my confession...For those who claim to be Christians, is this what you picture when you see the Church? Because in reality, this is what she is:

Tonight, I meet with God to repent my sin. To confess the awful, negative things I have said about your body. Tonight, I make covenant with you oh my God to want and to desire to see her as you do. May I see her mangled body and loose hair as pieces of beauty. May I see her stained and decayed smile as a river of life. May her lumpy saggy bosom be a welcome place to lay my head. May the harm and malice I have heaped on her be forgiven by you, oh my God. May I start this marriage relationship over from this point on, loving her as you do, respecting and adoring her as you do. I commit this to you God. I commit to your Church, your Bride.

simple living

My school's version of simple living, or living intentionally, has commenced. Bryce and I facilitated the first family gathering and meals will begin after the holiday weekend. I believe this will be an interesting and very relational semester. As we continue, I will be sure to update our status.

angry Asians

Article featured in New Demographic e-newletters:

Why are Asian-Americans so damn angry all the time?

I was thrilled to be a part of a panel discussion about Asian-American media activism at the Museum of Chinese in the Americas (MoCA) in New York City on July 23rd titled "WHY SO ANGRY ???"

We discussed some of the major media incidents of the last ten years, including Miss Saigon, Hot 97's Tsunami Song, Rosie O'Donnell, and Kenneth Eng.

San Francisco Chronicle columnist Jeff Yang moderated the discussion. The panelists included Andrew Hsiao (WBAI, New Press), Albert Lim (Fallout Central), Beau Sia (Def Jam Poet), Minya Oh aka Miss Info (HOT 97 FM), and Phil Yu (AngryAsianMan.com).

One of the main points I made during the discussion was that we need to ask ourselves where the impulse to protest is coming from.

Are you opposed to the Long Duk Dong caricature because as an anti-racist you believe all racist stereotypes are demeaning and dehumanizing? Or are you opposed to it because it is personally inconvenient to you? e.g., makes it harder for you to get laid.

Are you opposed to the "me love you long time" stereotype because it is racist and sexist? Or are you opposed to it because it personally inconveniences you? e.g., makes every man think you will give it up for "one dollah one dollah!"

If you're Asian-American and you are moved to protest an offensive Asian-American stereotype because of your anti-racist beliefs, then you should be just as likely to protest an equally offensive African-American, or Latino, or Arab-American stereotype.

But I just don't see a whole lot of that coming out of the Asian-American community (or any other communities, for that matter). Which makes me think that for many people, activism is not truly about anti-racism or anti-sexism, but more about consolidating their own power base in society.

I hope that more people will take up no. 3 of New Demographic's core beliefs:

We go beyond the concerns of the specific community to which we belong and recognize that when one group is discriminated against, it is an affront to us all.

For more about the panel, check out Kai Chang's write-up on Zuky.net.

comic

thoughts? comments? emotions?

The Vine House

At the end of the street where I live this summer is the Vine House. It serves as a ministry to the homeless on our side of the city, the Westside. On Monday and Wednesday, people can come for a time of fellowship and breakfast. It's a good ministry and I enjoy volunterring. The woman who is in charge of the Vine House and I have had some great conversations about the mindset of the homeless. If I get the chance to go to LA, I'd like to visit the Dream Center and see what services they offer the homeless as well.

adoption

The resident directors of a dorm at school are in the process of adopting a little boy and little girl. Currently, they are overseas going through the paperwork. Mateo has spent the last few days with them and I am so excited for them! Here's a link to their blogspot: children are a gift from God...powell adoption

So You Want to Be a Writer

by charles bukowski

if it doesn't come bursting out of you
in spite of everything,
don't do it.
unless it comes unasked out of your
heart and your mind and your mouth
and your gut,
don't do it.
if you have to sit for hours
staring at your computer screen
or hunched over your
typewriter
searching for words,
don't do it.
if you're doing it for money or
fame,
don't do it.
if you're doing it because you want
women in your bed,
don't do it.
if you have to sit there and
rewrite it again and again,
don't do it.
if it's hard work just thinking about doing it,
don't do it.
if you're trying to write like somebody
else,
forget about it.
if you have to wait for it to roar out of
you,
then wait patiently.
if it never does roar out of you,
do something else.

if you first have to read it to your wife
or your girlfriend or your boyfriend
or your parents or to anybody at all,
you're not ready.

don't be like so many writers,
don't be like so many thousands of
people who call themselves writers,
don't be dull and boring and
pretentious, don't be consumed with self-
love.
the libraries of the world have
yawned themselves to
sleep
over your kind.
don't add to that.
don't do it.
unless it comes out of
your soul like a rocket,
unless being still would
drive you to madness or
suicide or murder,
don't do it.
unless the sun inside you is
burning your gut,
don't do it.

when it is truly time,
and if you have been chosen,
it will do it by
itself and it will keep on doing it
until you die or it dies in you.

there is no other way.

and there never was.

Yellow Rage

one word: Wow!

Def Poetry Jam

Youth for Christ

I arrived yesterday in California and have been trying to settle in. As of June 1st, there will be six women living in the Youth for Christ mission house. Supper last night was eaten at a Mexican restaurant with Tana, Kenny, and Marvin. Marvin will be my supervisor for the summer and Kenny is his wingman. Kenny and I are attending UYWI National Conference this weekend (UYWI stands for Urban Youth Workers Institute). From the information on the website, this conference is going to be amazing!! The variety of workshops is incredible and though tired from travel yesterday, I am ready to learn.

God,
I continue to commit this summer to you. Through all my doubts and intellectual struggles, I know you have something great planned for this summer. I am ready to be a part of it. At the conference this weekend, I commit every moment to you. Teach me what it is I need to learn, what it is that you need me to learn. May this summer by a time of stretching in which you grow me to become a more passionate, people loving, grace giving, incarnational version of you.

freedom of speech

While speaking with friends who write for the school newspaper, the discussion of censorship arose. Because it is a school-sponsored newspaper, opinions or views that could reflect negatively on the school are not heard. I am tempted to start a one page underground bulletin which highlights student written work about anything and everything. The bulletin would contain a short intro paragraph and the rest of the articles could be found online. The major obstacle would be finding authors who would commit to writing on a consistent basis.....

Displace Me 2007

It was amazing in the "open your eyes and see reality" sense of the word amazing. To spend a night sleeping in cardboard huts with about 5,000 other people boggles my mind. My little cardboard hut was graciously attached to that of the basketball girls (Rachel and Dani), Danielle, and Laura. It was great to have people who let me be a part of their little group. The evening was spent through simulation exercises. Did you know that women ages 18-22 must walk with jugs on their heads a length of two miles to retrieve water? And that men gather the food for the family? Just some interesting facts...for those interested in activism, Schools 4 Schools is a great way to become involved with Invisible Children.

homeless: take II

Displace Me 2007
April 28-29, 2007
Chicago, IL - Soldier Field

Supplies:
Enough cardboard to build something the size of a small tent.
A sleeping bag.
A 1.5-liter bottle of water (with airtight seal-to be collected upon entry).
A box of saltine crackers (yes, they need to be saltines, with sealed packaging- to be collected upon entry).
A current photo of yourself wearing a white t-shirt with a red X.

It's going to be TIGHT!! I am so pumped! For more info, here's the link: displace me

Soulforce Equality Ride

As I have followed the Equality Ride, I wonder if Christians would ever be so passionate about Christ (not doctrine, religion, or any of the controversial issues of our society) as to take two months of their lives and ride around in a bus visiting cities and universities in our nation where people were blatantly against them and their beliefs? Would Christians stand in prayer vigil as people spewed hatred their way? Would Christians risk being arrested for the cause of Christ? Would Christians be willing to dialog without the stereotypical "shoving the gospel down your throat" method?........I don't mean to be cynical but I highly doubt it. Christians seem to think we live in a Christian nation but we do not (Gay Marriage and Christians). Christians may even be in the minority (*gasp*). But I am getting away from my point, so with this, I shall blog another day.

simple living experiment

Much has taken place as students embrace their last days of classes before finals week begins. Besides classes and schoolwork, I have been keeping busy with co-organizing the simple living community for next semester. Housing forms were due; people were added or dropped out. Dialog was had, formally and informally. The first "official" gathering of the minds is next week. A blogspot has been created and hopefully will be utilized by all: simple living experiment. More research and connections have been made as we, the co-founders, try to wrap up the administrative duties before school ends.

Marriage Paper

To all who participated by defining the terms, thank you. The paper was finished on Friday and much to my relief. It was an intense and mentally fatiguing week, but it is over. If you would like to read the paper about the definitions of love and marriage, in the past and in today's society, feel free to comment or e-mail me with your e-mail address.

Free Thinking

As I continue to expand my mind by pondering the difficult and somewhat tangent questions of life and the cultures in it, I become more and more "liberal" as compared to my conservative upbringing. This journey is one that changes as the days go by. The most current branch is the exploration of Confucian thought and the realization of how true his principles are with my spirit. The central thought is one of relationships and how our beings are continually transformed and changed by them. I'm liking it but definitely want to understand more about this before making a conclusion.

Definitions

For all who read this, please take my "survey" (for lack of a better word).

Define the following words as completely as you are able. Post or send your answers to cramerk@gmail.com:

- love
- marriage
- relationship
- commitment
- sexuality

And in advance, thanks for all your help!

I Am

spoken word by Eric Mata... I am; who are you?

A Prayer for Lent

O God, you are near as my heartbeat.
You know my pain.
You know my joy.
I want to open my whole life to you.
Grant me your peace. Amen.

Christian Subculture

You can answer this one or not...why is it Christians feel this urge to produce things that must be labeled as such?? And why is it that these "Christian" things are mostly of sub-par quality?? How can these people even think this would, and I assure you it doesn't, cause "non-Christians" to look into Christianity? If Scripture is the basis for this argument of having "Christian" things, one might use the passage where Jesus urges his followers to be in the world but not of it. However, I don't interpret this same passage that way. The American society and culture can be used to point "non-Christians" to truth (being somewhat obnocious about using labels and quotations...FYI: I HATE labels!! Labeling tends to create an us vs. them phenomena). And for Christians, Jesus is that truth. Randy Woodley emphasizes in his book, Living in Color, that anything that points others to truth is a good thing.

response to Cylest's xanga

In response to Cylest's xanga this morning:

It is disheartening when doctrine overshadows the persona of Jesus Christ and instead of love, the world finds religion. One day, may those claiming to be Christians become a united body of Christ putting aside the differences we have let Satan entangle us in.

Big Brother is a PAIN

I went to look at a friend's blogspot. My computer received this window message:

You are not authorized to view this page. You do not have permission to view this directory or page using the credentials that you supplied.
Please try the following:
* Contact the help desk if you believe you should be able to view this directory or page.
* Click the Refresh button to try again with different credentials.

HTTP Error: Unauthorized: Access is denied due to server configuration.
Internet Information Services (IIS)

My first thought was lovely. I only wanted to read my friend's reflections and thoughts. To do so, I'll need to find an off-campus location with free wifi and free speech.

sins of the US

I received this forward a while back. If more Christians were this genuinely honest, how would our world be a better place?
------------------------------------------

When Minister Joe Wright was asked to open the new session of the Kansas Senate, everyone was expecting the usual generalities, but this is what they heard:

"Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and to seek your direction and guidance. We know Your Word says, 'Woe to those who call evil good,' but that is exactly what we have done. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values.

We confess that we have ridiculed the absolute truth of Your Word and call it Pluralism.

We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery.

We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare.

We have killed our unborn and called it choice.

We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable.

We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self-esteem.

We have abused power and called it politics.

We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition.

We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression.

We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment.

Search us, Oh, God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from every sin and set us free.

Amen!"

The response was immediate. A number of legislators walked out during the prayer in protest…In 6 short weeks, Central Christian Church, where Rev. Wright is pastor, logged more than 5,000 phone calls with only 47 of those calls responding negatively.

Just Like Me

Last night, I attended a Soulforce event in the area. We had pizza, hung out, and were able to attend an informational "seminar" entitled In God's Image. It was an enjoyable evening and I had a good time getting to know the different riders. They are a talented group of thinkers, students, writers, and singers.

When I finally returned to my apartment building, there was a sign hanging outside the door and I just had to chuckle. My small school had held their own events pertaining to the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual) community. And I continue to chuckle. Because try as they might, my little conservative school only presents this group from one side, their narrow-minded side. And I guess that is their right as a church-affiliated institution, but it does a disservice to students and continues to widen the gap between the church and the LGBT community, which is really a shame.

"ching chong"

More recent than Michael Richard's rant was Rosie O'Donnell's "interpretation" and the consequences of her "comedic" act on The View.

Beau Sia responds to Rosie O'Donnell's "ching chong" comment on The View with "An Open Letter to All the Rosie O'Donnells".

the "N" word

This happened last year and seems to prove racism is still alive in America. I found Michael Richard's actual rant quite offensive, but I'm providing a link for those interested in what he actually said. You don't need the volume on; his words are highlighted in red: Richard's actual rant.

On the optimistic side, the Red Eye published this article:

N.Y. council backs n-word abstinence in resolution
By Emi Endo
Tribune Newspapers: March 1, 2007

NEW YORK -- The City Council on Wednesday approved a resolution urging New Yorkers to stop using the n-word, joining a nationwide movement seeking to reject the notion that the racial slur can be redefined and reclaimed.

The symbolic ban, which carries no legal weight, was approved 49-0.

The chief sponsor, Councilman Leroy Comrie, said that especially during Black History Month, it was important to discuss "the real history, the problems, and the embarrassment or hurt and pain that people feel when they hear this word misused and abused."

Comrie and other supporters contend that young people, who have grown up hearing the word in rap lyrics and movies and consider it acceptable slang, fail to appreciate its historical underpinnings.

Some in the black community argue that the term is not offensive, especially when pronounced and spelled with an "a" at the end, rather than "er."

Backers of the ban, including winners of a middle school essay contest, filled the council chamber balcony, sporting buttons with a white letter "N" slashed in red.

Comrie also honored the founders of a Web site called abolishthenword.com for bringing attention to the issue. Freelance filmmakers Kovon Flowers and his wife, Jill, started it about 10 months ago.

Comrie also supports pressuring entertainment companies not to use the word, except for historical context.

"I make an appeal to all people, and particularly in the hip-hop culture, that they respect who we are and where we've been, and that they no longer use that N-word," Councilman Albert Vann said, adding that derogatory terms for women ought to be avoided.

www.redeye.chicagotribune.com

School Newspaper Article

Jesus Wrecked My Life

South Shore Train tickets: $18.00
Chicago Transit 7-Day pass: $20.00
Housing before and after: $10.00
Walking in someone else’s shoes: definitely a God-thing

Sometimes being a Christian just doesn’t make sense. It’s not logical. And we’re called to experience things that aren’t a trip down sunshine lane. For most students, spring break is a time of rest, relaxation, and warm weather. However, I was compelled to something different. For me, spring break was spent in Chicago…homeless. One may ask “Why on earth would you want to experience homelessness?”

That’s a good question. Last semester, Wheaton in Chicago (my study “aboard” program) students read From Brokenness to Communion. In his lecture, Jean Vanier defined communion as two-fold. The first half of his definition for communion is “to be with someone and to discover that we actually belong together” (16). The second half of communion is “to walk with them” (16).

Since returning to campus, these concepts continued to intrigue and pursue me. For me to only possess sympathy for another’s condition wasn’t good enough anymore; God had bigger plans. He challenged me to empathize with my fellowman, my brothers and sisters of the human race. He challenged me to desire to care on a much deeper level for the overlooked, the marginalized, the forgotten, and the outcasts.

He challenged my outlook of urban ministry from a one-way attitude of “help [us] bring Jesus to the people we are serving” to one of partnership. I was given the belief that ministry happens with people, not to them. It shouldn’t be a “minister to others” type of thing but a “ministry with others” type of thing.

So, why did I spend spring break experiencing homelessness? Because I believe communion happens when you are you and I am me, and we decide to walk alongside each other. God prompted me to walk alongside my homeless brothers and sisters. And I said “Yes.”

As I engaged in the homeless community by living in an overnight shelter, the layers of misconceptions and myths came falling down. One of the most obvious misconceptions is that homeless people look a certain way or have a certain appearance. They don’t; they dress just like you and me sometimes in name brand and sometimes not. Another misconception is that homeless people smell bad or are dirty. This misconception is true of those who drink or smoke heavily. However, the overnight shelter where I stayed required that the women shower at least every other day.

A third myth is that homeless people are lazy. Not true. One of the women at the shelter was my age and studying to get her GED. She aspires to be a hygienist. Another is turning her life around and starting new. Three of the women are currently employed and saving to be able to afford their own place. A number of the women have case managers and are learning the skills needed to get hired for a decent paying job.

The women I came to know over a week’s time have goals and aspirations not that different from you and me. The woman studying to complete her GED to become a hygienist has been alone since the age of 17. She had lived in Chicago before with her mother until her mother left her. She moved to Georgia to have a fresh start and things didn’t work out; so she is back in Chicago trying to get back on her feet.

The second woman I encountered came to know Christ as her savior and he is why she is making a new start. She was a drug addict, alcohol drinking, prostitute who bore six children. None of her children live with her; they’ve all been adopted and one day, she wants to reconnect with them. Her hope and faith in Christ is what gets her through each day and gives her hope for the future.

A third woman and her husband became homeless after he lost his job. Because they are an older couple, it was difficult for him to find another job. So, they moved from Kansas City to Chicago because it offers a better opportunity and assistance to help them back onto their feet. He is getting assistance finding a job while she is working to gain access to low-income housing.

These are the faces and people I found behind this issue we call homelessness. These are the stories and lives that touched my own for a week. These are the women who showed me how many luxuries I take for granted on a daily basis: a place to call my own, a comfy bed with oversized pillow, a refrigerator full of food, a warm shower that can last more than ten minutes long. I went to Chicago to experience someone else’s condition and in the end, I discovered my own.

LINK Program

While in Chicago, March 1st was a day of enthusiasm for the women at the shelter. Some were going to get a check on that day and some would get LINK. Back in the luxury of free internet access, I researched what LINK is and how it is used.

"The Illinois LINK card allows food stamp recipients to receive this benefit electronically, via the use of a card that looks like a credit card as pictured on the left. Every month a pre-set amount of funds are available to the eligible individual or family via the Illinois LINK card.

Getting access to the funds is similar to the way someone uses a credit card or ATM card. The Illinois LINK card holder swipes the card through a machine at the grocery store and enters his or her PIN (personal identification number). As the LINK card is used, the amount of the purchase spent on food is deducted from the card holder’s account. Of course the purchasing limit of the Illinois LINK card is the amount of credit available in the card holder’s account.

There are benefits to this system including the money saved by eliminating paper food stamp coupons. There also may be some real benefits to the LINK card recipient such as no more lost or stolen food stamps (of course recipients will have to keep the card safe). Also, since every recipient has their own personal identification number, it should make unauthorized use of LINK card more difficult.

Many senior adults have been very reluctant or have downright refused to use paper food stamp coupons because of embarrassment even though they are in need of the benefits. The Illinois LINK card should help alleviate this embarrassment as the LINK card is a more low profile way to use benefits.

Every time the account is used, the recipient gets a receipt which lists the amount left in the recipient’s LINK card account and a there is a toll-free number that recipients can use to check their account balance." - http://egyptianaaa.org/IllinoisIL-Link.htm

Bi-cultural Identity

Being bi-cultural is an interesting thing. Perhaps it could be equated to being bi-racial (but I would have to ask to be sure). Since this is a new part of myself that requires exploring, several new menus have been added to the sidebar (by the way, I am an Asian adoptee with Caucasian parents). It has been noted that Asian-Americans lack role models who have been successful; so I felt the need to add a list for my Asian-American brothers and sisters. The second addition is one of Asian/Asian-American films that give insight into the cultures of now and of the old country. Come to think of it, the second list will be expanded to include other worthwhile films as well. Let me know if I've missed any that are worth mentioning.

Skewed View of Homeless

It's shocking the views these young people have of homeless people. Where did they learn these distorted things? How can you and I combat the ignorance?

Jesus wrecked my life

The title is a quote from Roe, a dear friend. It's how she describes her "coming to know Christ." And as of this week, I agree with her. If you really get to know (conocer-Spanish) the person of Jesus and just not a knowing of Jesus (saber-Spanish), he tends to wreck your life. The apirations and goals you wanted to pursue may not be as important anymore. The American dream may become a mere shadow. Jesus may call you to empthasize instead of sympathizing. You may be asked to walk down paths that personally you otherwise wouldn't choose. And unlike popular Christianity prescribes, giving monetarily won't be good enough. Pew-sitting Christianity will not point others toward the person of Jesus Christ. Action will be called for and hands will need to become dirty.....so, the question I leave you with is: what in your life is worth fighting for? Is justice worth fighting for?

Jesus People, USA

So, hanging out at Jesus People tonight. My fellow traveler is checked in for the week, and new friends have been made. One of the more interesting is Gordon. He is originally from Oregon and has been traveling around the nation for a time now. We had an interesting conversation. He suggested spending time at a monastery to clear my head and get some direction. Sounds like a great idea. My travelling partner is making friends with this cool group of "youth" (teens and 20-somethings). One of them is in a band and the music is quite good. Another is a teacher's assistant. A third is addicted to youtube and mypsace. In other news, there is a diverse group at JPUSA.

Spring Break

Spring break is officially upon us at my small school. Florida seems to be the destination of choice students said when asked their spring break plans. If not Florida, most are working at home or near school. Unlike my colleagues, a good friend and I are spending spring break differently. To empathize with our fellowman and better understand them as people, we're going to a nearby city to experience homelessness.

Brokenness--part 2

From Brokenness to Community by Jean Vanier:
"To love someone is not first of all to do things for them, but to reveal to them their beauty and value, to say to them through our attitude: 'You are beautiful. You are important. I trust you. You can trust yourself' (16).

Wow! Thank you to all the people who have done this for/to me. Thank you for being a part of my life, no matter how long or short, and walking with me through this journey we call life.

"Multi-Ethnic" week

Here at ****** we have experienced yet another week of “multiculturalism”, “multi-ethnic programs”, “diversity awareness”, or whatever you would choose to call it. Take your pick because each title is pretty much the same.

Yet, I believe that if we seriously desire unity within our community, Jean Vanier’s From Brokenness to Community helps to point the way. It does not and will not give us a formula to follow or a how-to but a deeper understanding of ourselves and our fellowman.

However, I must warn you, it will challenge you. It will stretch you. It will cause you to rethink yourself and the God we profess to serve. It will make you uncomfortable to call yourself a Christian if you are wearing a mask or doing the Christian life by quantifying your spirituality.

Vanier describes community but what got me was his concept of communion. He defines communion as "love and friendship"..."Communion means accepting people just as they are, with all their limits and inner pain, but also with their gifts and their beauty and their capacity to grow: to see their beauty inside of all the pain. In the relationship of communion, you are you and I am I; I have my identity and you have yours. I must be myself and you must be yourself. We are called to grow together, each one becoming more fully himself or herself” (16-7).

Knowing and loving people as they are, this type of communion and not community, is what we should strive for. Community is nice and good, but communion with one another–that would blow my mind. We could be a bunch of Jesus-loving, radical-about-people, world changers. And you ask, “How would Vanier’s idea of communion be possible?”

“We can only truly love people who are different, we can only discover that difference is a treasure and not a threat, if in some way our hearts are becoming enfolded in the heart of the Father, if somewhere God is putting into our broken hearts that love that is in God’s own heart for each and every human being ” (20-1).

It is by knowing people, first and foremost, with God’s love for them that will transform our community. And no matter how highly we think of ourselves, I know I’m not there yet. There are times I resist God’s love for others and its continual attempts to enfold my selfish, conceited, egocentric heart. And no matter how much I choose the weaker impulse (God’s desire for me to love my spiritual brother or sister), there are just as many times or more that I choose the stronger (my fleshly desire).

I'm Innocent, I Swear

I'm innocent, I tell you--even though right now, I'm feeling uneasy. And part of this is my fault. I told someone my secret a while back, and it has come to bite me in the ass. Not only does that person know but another friend also knows. I feel violated. It was my secret. If I wanted to share it, I would have. Because I think they both know, things are weird and I don't know how to handle the awkwardness. Hiding it sounds good but the desire is to not be a fake with people I've been real with until now. It urks me that the past seems to carry so much weight even if I don't want it to. I came to college as a new person and wanted to leave my past behind. I wanted people to meet and know me, not my past, parents, grades, or religious affiliation. Just me, and now I wonder...was that too much to ask?

Brokenness--part 1

From Brokenness to Community by Jean Vanier:
"It is people who are weak, rejected, marginalized, counted as useless, who can become a source of life and of salvation for us as individuals as well as for our world" (10).

Wow! That is so true. I learn so much from those I just take an extra 30 seconds to get to know. I mean it may just be a quick "Hey, how are you?" that brightens their day. I believe that's what Christianity's Jesus demonstrated. Jesus was so much more into detail than Christians are today. In today's world, we can become very "me" focused and very busy with stuff.

In the biblical story of the widow's two mites, Jesus took the time to notice the little things. I probably would have become impatient standing in line, dropped my tithe off, called a friend to let them know I was running late, and sped off to the next appointment in my day. Jesus intentionally sat and watched. I think we need to practice this more: sitting, watching, and interacting with those who the world might not see as valuable.

Valentine's Day Poem

i loved him
and
he broke my heart

i loved her
and
she threw it in my face

i loved them both
and
with no regret

for i believe God
and
love, he calls us to it

but like the man
in
Moulin Rouge

the greatest thing is to love
and
to be loved in return

God loves me
and
i choose to love him in return.

"Multi-Ethnic" chapel

A friend of mine asked me to read her thoughts before she posted them on the Wittenburg door at our small Christian school. I thought they were really good and want to share them with you:

I am writing to express my opinion about Chapel Service on Monday, February 12th, 2007. The description of this chapel in the given chapel guide was “Unity within Community: Faculty Perspective”. I believe the faculty and staff chosen by the Multi-Ethnic Services poorly represented the diversity of our campus. The faculty/staff presented in the following order: Professor Beth, Professor Derrick, Dr. Christian, and Professor Theodore. If we look closely at this selection, the racial demographics are as follows (and in this order of appearance): Caucasian-American female, African male, Caucasian-American male, and Black-American male.

The question that came to my mind was: Is this campus just black and white? And I pondered carefully, and the answer is: NO. There are students who can be represented by faculty and staff who are not Caucasian-American or Black-American. Here are just a few examples and the cultures they represent:
Professor R...........Finland
Professor M..........Spain
Professor W..........China
Professor M..........Romania
Professor S...........Indonesia
Krista W................Hawaii

Each of these faculty and staff has a story to tell, and they are neither Black-American nor Caucasian-American. They are from Europe, Asia, and the Pacific Islands.

This week, we are to “celebrate” unity within community. I urge you that it is not a white versus black issue. This is a campus full of life, of many different people, of different countries, and states within the United States. Skin color does not define culture. For an example: some people are from different countries but do not have that stereotypical appearance. Today's chapel, of a faculty/staff perspective, should have fully represented the diversity of the student body.

I urge you to look beyond skin color and ethnic background, for these two elements are not everything. I urge you to pay closer attention to the way people are inside, not outside. The old saying, “Don’t judge a book by its cover” applies in this situation and we can apply it [here]: “Don’t judge a person by their skin or ethnic background.”

I urge you to get to know other students, faculty or staff on this campus who are seemingly different than you. Look into their hearts. Look to understand what they think and feel and why they think and feel that way.

Here at ******, we have the privilege of experiencing a slice of God’s unique diversity through the many professors, faculty, staff and students represented. Unity within Community is about everybody, no matter where you are from. Every culture and race should be represented.

Bradley Hathaway: Manly Man

Hathaway expands my view of a manly man through his spoken word, and I am forced to rethink my definition *props to Roe for sharing this with me*.

Christianity: Be or Do

During a vespers service last week, the thought of Christianity being a chore came to mind. It seems in the little Christian community where I go to school, Christianity is about doing. If a person does the right things (reads their Bible, spends time in prayer, goes to a Bible study in their dorm, and participates in the various spiritual activities on campus), that person is definitely a good Christian and no one questions their spiritual status. However, it seems that other cultures emphasize Christianity as being. The practices of solitude, meditation, and silence are admired. It seems these are the measuring stick for Christianity and spirituality in general. Perhaps, the people in my Christian community should practice these virtues and see how Christianity continues and flourishes.


*Disclaimer: This may just be in my little conservative bubble of a school. Feel free to disagree.

Homelessness

Growing up in a small conservative community, I was taught that homelessness was the result of bad decisions. Circumstances or hard times may have contributed to a person's homelessness, but ultimately, it was choice. After doing research and "broadening my horizon", I would have to disagree with my upbringing. Homelessness could be the result of a layoff or huge credit card debit or student loans. Homelessness could be a choice (http://guide2homelessness.blogspot.com/). Homelessness could be the result of mindset and a vicious cycle. And that is what I would argue. It's mindset. A good percentage of the homeless may be victims of mindset. They could have been raised in poverty and it's the only thing they know. They could have fallen on hard times, wanted to pick themselves up, and just never had the opportunity. And once you've been down for a while, it's much more difficult to have the desire and want to "pick yourself up by your own bootstraps". Hence, my theory of the vicious cycle.

Motivation

The question of intrinsic and extrinsic motivation is one of great debate. The western value of recognition continues to dominate in our society. We recognize those who excel in sports, theater and academics. The media assists by putting athletes, actors, and actresses on (pedistools) for all to see. The eastern value of expectation seems to surface. Students are expected to excel in academics for family honor. Average is synonymous with failure and that's it. One cannot be average because it equates with failure, and failure is not an option. Is there any easy answer? Is one better than another?

Choice or Reality?

In Psychology, colleges and universities teach about the great debate of nature versus nurture. Wikipedia defines the terms like this: Nature vs Nurture is a shorthand expression for debates about the relative importance of an individual's innate qualities ("nature") versus personal experiences ("nurture") in determining or causing individual differences in physical and behavioral traits. With the development of human genetics, many important human traits have proved to be partially or mostly genetic.

The question that comes to mind is: are some issues nature but our actions a choice of nurture?

Margaret Cho: Asian Chicken Salad

So, this clip is soooo funny! I crack up every time I watch it. The awkwardness of people; dang, it's funny.

Secrets

Secrets. We all have them, and that one word seems to sum up my life right now. And the biggest problem or struggle is the element of fear. Christians are supposed to share their struggles with each other (Ephesians 6:2), but there is this schema in the Christians community that real Christians have it all together. I don't know about others but I definitely don't have it all together...in other words, the consequences of sharing my secrets are greater than the benefit of someone else sharing my burden. So, the only option is trudge on...alone. Perhaps one day, the rest of the Christian community will more accepting of imperfect people and more genuine with each other.

Her passions are more spiritual??

I sat with some fellow students for lunch yesterday and one of them asked me what my passions are. I told them and then asked what their's were. They told me and added onto the end of their description, "They're (her passions) almost the same as yours, just more spiritual." I wanted to be like W-T-F, but I go to a small Christian school in the Midwest; so there's no way I would have responded with that. I just kinda smiled and we went on to another topic of conversation. The question I pose to you is exactly that W-T-F. What do you think about that? Can one person's passions be more spiritual than another's? Or was this person's narrow minded-ness showing through? You decide and leave me a comment or two.

Alvin Lau: Asia-America, Where Have You Gone?

Lau's poem/spoken word really hit me and I appreaciated it for articulating some of the frustrations I have.

Battle for the Mind

In the Christian culture, there is this idea that one battles for their mind, heart, and soul against a prince of darkness. This personified essence is one who comes to lie, kill, and destroy. However, what if in reality that prince of darkness is you? You're the one you're battling against for control of your mind, heart, and soul. What does one do with that? How would you proceed in battle when you know your enemy knows all your best moves and can outplay you?

Introduction

Awareness isn't enough. Awareness should lead to reconciliation, reconciliation with God and our fellowman. Reconciliation isn't enough. Reconciliation should lead to justice: justice socially, justice economically, justice. You have been informed. You are now aware (feel free to take the next step).