Saturday, February 17, 2007
I'm Innocent, I Swear
I'm innocent, I tell you--even though right now, I'm feeling uneasy. And part of this is my fault. I told someone my secret a while back, and it has come to bite me in the ass. Not only does that person know but another friend also knows. I feel violated. It was my secret. If I wanted to share it, I would have. Because I think they both know, things are weird and I don't know how to handle the awkwardness. Hiding it sounds good but the desire is to not be a fake with people I've been real with until now. It urks me that the past seems to carry so much weight even if I don't want it to. I came to college as a new person and wanted to leave my past behind. I wanted people to meet and know me, not my past, parents, grades, or religious affiliation. Just me, and now I wonder...was that too much to ask?
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“The past is our definition. We may strive, with good reason, to escape it, or to escape what is bad in it, but we will escape it only by adding something better to it.”
-Wendell Berry
I'm really bummed that person could not keep your secret. They lose the prize.((shakes head sadly))
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